in my lifethe long and winding roadacross the universewith a little help from my friendsi am the walrushere comes the suncome togetherhello goodbyehome sweet home


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I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom!
  ~Anya, Triangle

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There are 12 quotes housed in this category.


Real Life

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  ~Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50

The reason I don't despair is because this attack happened. It's not a dream. But the aftermath of it, the recovery is a dream realized. And that is Martin Luther King's dream. Whatever barriers we've put up are gone even if it's momentary. We're judging people by not the color of their skin but the content of their character. You know, all this talk about 'These guys are criminal masterminds. They've gotten together and their extraordinary guile... and their wit and their skill.' It's a lie. Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters, these policemen and people from all over the country, literally, with buckets rebuilding. That's extraordinary. That's why we've already won. It's light. It's democracy. We've already won. They can't shut that down. They live in chaos and chaos... it can't sustain itself. It never could. It's too easy and it's too unsatisfying.

The view from my apartment was the World Trade Center and now it's gone. They attacked it. This symbol of American ingenuity and strength and labor and imagination and commerce and it is gone. But you know what the view is now? The Statue of Liberty. The view from the south of Manhattan is now the Statue of Liberty. You can't beat that.
  ~Jon Stewart, on The Daily Show, in reference to the events of 09.11.01

Interesting. So I guess the point is, just because you ride around in a limo, that doesn't mean you're not retarded.
  ~Rob Corddry, on The Daily Show, speaking in reference to MTV's Rich Girls

Ben Affleck is blind... which actually turns out to be a good thing because that means he doesn't have to sit and watch his performance in this comic book crapfest.
  ~Dalton Ross, Entertainment Weekly, in reference to the movie Daredevil

Bush is such a fucking moron. 'I was sure he had them.' Well I was sure Bush had a brain... but I was proved wrong again!
  ~Susan, speaking about the nonexistent weapons of mass destruction in Iraq

I can't believe they're dumb enough to bring up the film and help its box office.
  ~Michael Moore, on the Republicans bashing him during their convention

Tonight, Jon, they took last night's theme - a Bush victory would bring closure to the 9/11 families - and built on it with a theme of compassion. We heard from widows, orphans, the enfeebled, the limbless - all raising their voice in support of the President, whose compassion, like the Olympics, triumphantly springs forth every four years.
  ~Stephen Colbert, on The Daily Show, on the 2004 RNC themes

Harry Potter seems like a very nice young fictional man. If I were in the habit of befriending fictional people, I'd be happy to make his acquaintance, but the trouble with fictional friendships is that you tend to find yourself sitting in a café, talking excitedly to an empty chair. After several hours, the staff will probably force you to leave, even if there are still uneaten madeleines sitting on your plate, all ready to be covered in strawberry jam. Normally, if you were being treated unfairly, you could count on a friend to help you, but a fictional friend - even one with fictional magic powers - will probably just stand there with a confused and fictional look on his or her face.
  ~Lemony Snicket, interview in The Independent

The one thing I would want an audience to take away from my work is that people who do not think they have strength in them do and that everybody has the ability and chance to be stronger and better and happier than the world seems ready to let them.
  ~Joss Whedon, Browncoats interview

To all that come to this happy place: welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America... with hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world.
  ~Walt Disney, at the opening of Disneyland

I think what I want Disneyland to be most of all is a happy place—a place where adults and children can experience together some of the wonder of life, of adventure, and feel better because of it.
  ~Walt Disney, on Disneyland

We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.
  ~John F. Kennedy, Address at Rice University on the Nation's Space Effort



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