Mulder: I made a last ditch effort to get out of it, but the Bureau is holding fast to its Federal Employees Vacation Policy. I haven't taken a day off in four years, so either I take a week vacation now, or they start not paying me for eight weeks' vacation time. I don't like it, but I got to do it. I got to pay the rent. I got to eat Part of me can't help thinking this is just another way to get me out of here. But it is only a week, and you'll be here to keep an eye on things for me, so... here's a few things for you to keep an eye on while I'm gone.
Scully: Why don't I have a desk?
Mulder: What do you mean? I always assumed that that was your area.
Scully: Back there.
Mulder: Okay, so we'll have them send down another desk and there won't be any room to move around her but we can put them really close together face to face, maybe we can play some Battleship.
Scully: I'm not going.
Mulder: What do you mean?
Scully: Your contact, while interesting in the context of science fiction, was, at least in my memory, recounting a poorly veiled synopsis of an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Mulder: Eenie, meenie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak?
Scully: Rocky and Bullwinkle are looking for an upsidasium mine. Boris Badenov alters the road signs which causes them to walk onto a secret military base, where they are picked up by a car with no windows and no door locks, and there are silent explosions from a compound called "Hushaboom."
Mulder: So you're refusing an assignment based on the adventures of Moose and Squirrel?
Scully: "Refusing an assignment?" It makes it sound like you're my superior.
Mulder: Do what you want. Don't go to Philadelphia, But let me remind you that I worked my ass off to get the files reopened. You were just assigned. This work is my life.
Scully: And it's become mine.
Mulder: You don't want it to be.
Scully: This isn't about you. Or maybe it is, indirectly. I don't know. I feel like I've lost sight of myself, Mulder. It's hard to see, let alone find in the darkness of covert locations. I mean, I wish I could say that we were going in circles, but we're not. We're going in an endless line - two steps forwards and three steps back. While my own life is... standing still.
Mulder: Well, maybe it's good that we get away from each other for a while.
Scully: Where will you be?
Mulder: Ironically enough, it's personal. It's a... place I always wanted to go. What I anticipate to be a spiritual journey. I hope to... discover something about myself. Maybe you should do the same.
Jerse: Mind some advice from a stranger? Make sure you've thought it over before you get it done.
Scully: What, you didn't get the tattoo you deserve?
Jerse: Mine was too impulsive.
Scully: Never say never. Yeah, sometimes I wish I were that impulsive.
Jerse: Careful what you wish for. There's more fashionable places in the city. How did you end up here?
Scully: I'm in town visiting my aunt in the neighborhood. How bout you.
Jerse: There's a real crummy bar across the street. It's good for when you're feeling down. I was kind of down last week and uh...
Scully: So it wasn't so much "impulsive" as it was "hammered?"
Scully: Mulder. What's wrong?
Mulder: Nothing's wrong. I'm just at that special place, and I wanted to share it with you. Did you know that Elvis bought all the furniture in just 30 minutes?
Scully: How did you know where I was?
Mulder: I-I checked where we always stay in Philadelphia. I knew you wouldn't abandon me. How's the case going?
Scully: I've handed it over to the Philadelphia bureau.
Mulder: The Philadelphia bureau? They don't know or care about the X-files. What are you doing?
Scully: Mulder, there is no X-file. Your contact is connected to the Vorofskoi Mir, extortion, credit fraud, cons, he is nothing but a swindler.
Mulder: How do you know?
Scully: What do you mean, how do I know? You assigned me the background check. I did as told, as always.
Mulder: Okay, just hold off until I get there, okay?
Scully: What, you don't think I'm capable?
Mulder: Of course I believe that you're capable, it's just that in this case I need you to...
Scully: It's not just in this case, Mulder.
Mulder: Wh-what's the agent's name in Philadelphia?
Scully: It is over. Done. Pudovkin is out of our hands. Look Mulder, I have to go.
Mulder: What, have you got a date, or something? Y-you're kidding.
Scully: I have everything under control. I will talk to you later.
Scully: Ed, I-I uh, I don't go out very much. I think the last time I went on a date was to see Glengarry GlenRoss and the characters in the movie had a much better time.
Scully: So, what makes this place a good place to go when you're feeling down?
Jerse: Oh, it's kind of... Everyone here looks like their problems are worse than mine. Makes me feel good about myself.
Scully: Yeah, but you can't tell what's going on in somebody's head just by looking at them. I mean, they're probably thinking that we're the ones that are screwed up.
Jerse: Are we?
Scully: Who knows? I mean sometimes, I, uh... I've always gone around in this, uh... this circle. It usually starts when an authoritative or controlling figure comes into my life. And part of me likes it, needs it, wants the approval. But then at a certain point, along the way, I just, you know... Okay, umm... My father was a Navy Captain. I worshipped - I worship - the sea that he sailed on. And when I was 13 or so I went through this... thing, where I would sneak out of my parents house and smoke my mother's cigarettes. And I did it because I knew that if he found out, he would kill me. And then... along the way, there are other... fathers.
Jerse: Sounds a little like you time has come around again. I want things more like a straight line, and I don't ever want to go backward. That's why I got the tattoo I deserve. Marked the moment, the feeling... memorial of something that I never want to have happen again.
Jerse: Look, the weather and a few drinks under your belt... I'd feel better if you stayed here. Hey, I'm not up to anything. I just want you to be safe. I'll take the couch. That tattoo hurt at all?
Scully: Yeah, um... it feels weird. I, uh, I can't see it and... but I feel different. It's like, um, I don't know how I feel about that.
Scully: Ed. Sit down. Some detectives were here. The woman in the apartment downstairs was reported missing. They found some blood in her apartment and I believe circumstantially, it may be yours.
Jerse: I was helping her move in and I cut myself.
Scully: You need to tell that to the detectives. But what I'm also afraid of - and this concerns both of us - is that an ergot alkaloid was found in the blood which is why I think it may have been yours. Now ergot is a parasite that lives off of rye and related grasses. Svo said that he used rye somehow in his ink. Now if this is true, we may be subject to hallucinogenic ergotism. Aural, visual hallucinations. Dangerous and unlikely behavior. We need to go to the hospital to be tested.
Jerse: I don't need that, Dana. It's such a relief to be able to tell someone. I hear it, Dana. In my head, only deeper. It's more than just some chemical reaction. She talks to me. She hates women... my wife, my boss... you. She's so jealous, Dana. She makes me do things. I don't want to, but she controls me. But I believe that you made her go away.
Scully: We need to get help. Now, I'm going to go into the other room and I'm going to come back and we are going to go together.
Mulder: Welcome back. You look a lot better than you did in the hospital. And congratulations for making an personal appearance in the X-files for the second time. It's a world's record. Ed Jerse is in custody at the St. John's burn facility in Philadelphia. Traces of ergot were found in his bloodstream as in yours, but not to the degree that should cause hallucinogenic ergotism. He'll undergo psychiatric evaluation after recovering from burn trauma. Comrade Svo has been shut down, he was under investigation for having connections to my friend Pudovkin. Case closed on Boris Badenov, which is really a shame because I was thinking of having an "N.Y." tattooed on my ass to commemorate the Yankees' World Series victory. Better late than never, hunh. The uh, field office in Dallas is uh, receiving reports of the image of a missing child appearing on a blank billboard outside of Arlington... so... All this, because I've... because I didn't get you a desk?
Scully: Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life.